Secrets of Suburbia

While soap operas insist that the life of the rich is scandelous and full of gossip, conpetition, and tons of parents bad-mouthing their employes. I say no. The true scandels of America usually don't happen among the rich, but in the small suburban areas in the USA. You might say "Why Suburbia is the most boring places ever". Our manicured lawns, tennis courts, and our medium sized houses might have you fooled, we all have competition with one another and there are many little rumors that float around the houses. So I will have a new short series called:Secrets of Suburbia. I plan to talk about all the rumors that I hear around my little neighborhood.

When you first see my neighborhood the first thing you should probably notice is that we are very far away from the highway and we're kinda in our own little town with everything we need. There's a Target, a Publix, an Avenue with tons of stores, and my personal favorite: Hot Ticket(which is a prom dress store). All of our yards are green and usually have tall trees and a couple bushes with bright flowers. Our favorite flower colors are reds, pinks, and yellows. There is a little contest that happens every year where we pick a yard to be Yard of the Year. Sure it sounds like a good idea, but there is a catch to this Title. You have to keep your yard looking great or people will say "They won Yard of the Year? You gotta be kidding me!". My family never won the title, but what is the point? It's just a little sign, nothing else. Sure you can enjoy the boasting rights, but after a year you have to give it up. Woopde-freaken-do.
After the Yard of the Year is chosen, then begins the most cruellest, most competative competition of them all. It puts friends against friend, and they are willing to do whatever it takes to win. I'm talking about Summer jobs. It's a cruel business where a bunch of 12 year old s try as hard as they can to find little toddlers to babysit before the other kids get them. In the history of babysitting there is always two girls who happen to be the dominant babysitters. Those girls are my sister and the neighborgirl named Merideth Smith*. Both are prown to tearing down other people posters, bribing eachother, and saying stuff like "I call dibs on this house...this house...and this house". I've never been involved in this weird business, but I know most of the tactics in order to have a succesfull babysitting business:
1. Don't take no for an answer. If a friend of yours knows the address to the cutest little three year old and you don't, bribe and bug your friend till they tell. Even do some research of your own
2. Advertise! The most common form of advertising is to tape a brightly piece of paper with your profession, name, age, and address on it. Be sure to make it appealing to the eye by adding pictures, and having it printed on neon bright paper
3. DESTROY THE OPPONENT! Rip up their posters and hid them. Steal their customers
4. If you can, make yourself the only people to come for jobs. Get your family involved in the business world. The other neighborhood jobs are: Dog walking, lawn mowing, mothers helper(totally different from babysitting), pinecone picker(a real job), and other odd jobs that younger kids are competative about
5. Actually do well at your job
If you follow those steps there is a 100% chance you'll be the most succesful kid on your block.
Well the next part of Secrets of Suburbia will either be about The Halloween Party or any late-breaking news!
*= names have been changed