Emily and I's funny and slutty adventure

It all started on Saturday when Emily, Robin and I were planning to hang out at my house. Robin had not yet confirmed or denied it and she constantly said on the phone,"I'll let you know when my parents come home". One day and 5 phone calls later, she had unfortunately canceled. Sarah was pretty disappointed, because I think she really wanted to met this attractive friend of mine. Good job, Sarah.

Ok, so I waited for Emily to come. Waited, and waited. She was supposed to come at around 12:30, but she did not arrive till 2:30. She is more late than Aquaman is when he is called to an emergency on land. But you know she's not dead. When she finally got over, I was already eating a Caesar salad and I was not fricken happy. I mean, I waited for two hours by myself in hopes that she would come, and she comes two hours late! I was getting bored out of my mind!

For the first couple minutes, we both dined on chicken caesar salad. She was constantly all like, "You guys make the best salad". Which we do, but I have been getting really tired of them, because I've had them like nonstop for the past three days. When we finally finished (well not really) the salad, we went upstairs..oh what the hell, let's just skip over to the Target visit.

Ok. every other weekend I make my way over to the local Target and refill my supply of tictacs and gum. I usually do it by myself, so I this time I decided to bring along Emily. As we made our way to Target, I made a fun time of poking fun at Emily (though I am always joking and it is pure fun). We also talked about anything really, but one thing that was constant was Emily's sudden southern accent everytime she talks about her family.

I mean almost every time I see her, she had sudden moments of a pure southern accent. She talks normal in school, but all southern accenty when we're at my house. I guess my house has a deadly gas in it called "Southern-accentoxide". Ok, well, I can easily tell that Emily wasn't used to walking long distances to major shopping places. The only good thing was that her mom worked near by at the local Pier One, which is a furniture store. Her mom allowed us to go only if we go to her store first. After treking (no star trek pun intended) a long way we finally made it to Target. Though, for some reason Emily wasn't ok with walking on the left side of the road, so we went to the right. That was a random fact, but hey, whose judging me! We made it to Pier One where there were tons of different furnitures, but mostly small chairs, candles and cheap-ass Halloween decoration. Not the scary type, more like the wooden type.

Then came Emily's non-stop informercial for the stuff at the store. It was all,"COME LOOK AT THIS!"

I decided that when we got to Target, to go in the full circle and see every section. Though our main goal was to go to the candy aisle. Our first stop was the magazine aisle where I instantly got interested in the latest issue of Seventeen magazine. Right next to it were smaller magazines with a bunch of teen stars photos splashed onto it. It was none other than the stupid tween magazines like J-14, M, and the other crappy magazines which soul purpose is to just make tiny celebrity info seem like huge deals. I joked to Emily, "God I hate those stupid tween magazines". Emily took down one of the J-14 magazine and started scrolling through it. I noted, "Look how the cover says Miley Cyrus spills major secret". Emily then flipped to the page, and turns out the major secret was that she has is just that she has $1,000 worth of Vera Bradley purses. Wow, it is soo life-changing ,I will never look at Miley the same. Plus, the cover basically looks like some five year old threw a bunch of pictures of celebrites onto a piece of brightly colored piece of paper, and then wrote "OMG!" all around that piece of paper. They lie more than Miley Cyrus does when she talks about her virginity. Oops, I went there.

Yeah, so after I finally put the Seventeen magazine down, and took a last laugh that the idiotness of the J-14 magazine, we made our way to the smallest section of all. The Halloween section. This place is made for only cheap kiddie costumes, cute halloween decorations and a single scary one: see below for proof.

This is a creepy robot thingy

and here is me as the Joker. I see an odd resemblance

Back on topic, the costumes there weren't really that great, and they were more geared towards children than actual adults. That is why you should never buy costumes at Target. We then moved on from the Halloween aisle, which seemed like forever because Emily was constantly getting entertained by anything that she saw.

I did notice that there were a couple of upper middle class girls (the type of popular girls that aren't really that popular, if that makes sense to you). Most of the girls were in my old Girl Scout troop. God I hated my old Girl Scout troop. They were soo cliquish. You know, there were groups of about 3 who only hung out with each other and never let me in. I was constantly by myself and never really had any friends in my old girl scout troop. Luckily, I joined another GS troop and things got way better.

Then it was the candy aisle. I saw tons and tons of large packages of candies from Gummibursts, to a multi-variety of gum. It was candy heaven except I personally don't care for half the brands that are there. I instantly got tons of bags of Gummibursts, and for a first time, I didn't buy any tictacs or gum. Wow. Though I already had lunch of a salad, I bought a Chicken Dunks Lunchable, and a large Vitamin water. Emily bought some weird Apple juice thing and a Gatorade rip-off thingy.

We then went over to the check out area, and paid for the stuff. Unfortunately, Emily forgot to pay and she then owed me two dollars. Luckily she paid for it, even though I took one dollar out of her debt from the change. There was a small Pizza Hut, because Target has everything. I ate my Lunchable as we discussed the fact that big superstores are destroying small businesses. Weird that we were talking about this at an actual Target. Ironic. The whole time I noticed those weird semi-popular girls constantly looking at us. Freaks.

Now let's skip over the returning to Pier One, and skip over to Party City. I instantly kinda knew that Emily would freak out when we had to cross the road. We made our way to the first stoplight, and right when it turned green we both ran like crazy people. Soon I heard Emily yell,"STOP!", I skidded to a stop, right in the middle of the road. I then jumped back to a small stone area in between the road where Emily was. I can't believe I'm saying this but Emily technically saved my life. Maybe I can finally forgive you for making a joke out of my car crash. Hmm.

Party City was busy and there was a long wall covered in pictures of the many costumes. Instinctively, I went over to the adult section of the wall where they had all the short, skimpy costumes. You see when you become a teen, it almost illegal to wear a costume that is not skimpy. It's like the law.

Emily was too nervous to try on any costumes, and even enter the mask aisle. Yeah, Emily has some scare issues because she is terrified of anything that is skimpy and has the face of Freddy Krueger on it. So I tried some costumes on. Here are the ones I tried on:

Me as Robin: the feminine sidekick of the Batman who is prone to getting captured. He also has weird catchphrases. Yet he manages to kill the Joker and Harley Quinn in an animated Batman movie. Unfortunately, most Robins get killed brutally. That's why I'm being Stephanie Brown Robin, because she was in the comics soo short that I don't think she had time to die brutally.

Here I am a fairy not a prostitute. Though this costume is probably meant for prostitutes. I mean, how come all Halloween costumes now a days are slutty (hints the title). I also tried on a Silk Spectre costume (which was way too big), and a sexy maid costume on (which is too hot for this blog).

The fun day ended and Emily and I went home and did the only thing two girls would do by themselves. Now before you think the thing we did by ourselves had anything to do with the title this post: Slutty adventure. Let me remind you that we are two very weird girls. So what did we do? I dressed up as Joker/Harley Quinn, and Emily put a weird wig on and went as Cousin It. I wanted her to be Catwoman or Poison Ivy, but we couldn't find the mask for Catwoman, which really sucked. Well, here is the video we made:

Unfortunately, Blogspot doesn't allow me to upload the whole video, so part two coming soon!