Oh my gods!

I love Greek Mythology. I love everything about it. The tales of powerful gods, heroic warriors, and the fact that you can marry your cousin or brother and that would be perfectly fine. So why are the great myths of Greek times being turned into Teenybopper crap? One Reason: Money, and what is the best example of Greek crap? The book:Oh.My.Gods. So what better way to review this literary poop than making a whole blog post basically trashing the novel.

Ok so the first thing everybody sees when they pick a book is the cover. I have to admit the cover is kinda creative.
Though I don't give it much creativity points, but she does get credit for the clever cover. Oh wait not the author, the cover designer. Sorry Tera, you don't get the point. Back on topic: Most book usually have a summary either inside or outside of the book which tells us what the book is about. This book did but it didn't really tell us anything. It introduced our bratty main character Phoebe, the greek gods, and her new secret school for greek gods. Gee a secret school for people who abilities, now where have I heard that?

.

You wanna know one big difference between these books/m0vies and Oh.My.Gods? All the movies/books are better than OH. MY.GODs. Other than the whole "overused concept thingy", the synopsis never actually tells us what the plot is other than: Girl goes to school with descendents of Greek Gods. So I had no idea what the real conflict was. When I found out I was surely amazed(sorry but ill tell you all later).

In the first page we meet our Heroine Phoebe, who I swear would be perfect if she didn't complain soo much. I mean she whines about everything. School, moving to Greece to live on a private island(which isn't technically a bad thing), not having powers, and not being the fastest person on her new godily sports team, and basicly every page is her whining about something. You could actualy replace all her lines with this:

She even compares her life to Animal Farm. Hate to break it to you Phoebe, but just because you see your privilaged life as bad doesn't mean you can compare it to Animal Farm. You have your own private island, attend a super-exclusive high school, and can basicly get anything you want doesn't make you equal to the poor animals who worked nonstop, had no rights, were executed if they didn't support Napoleon, and had little food. You selfish, self-pitying freak! Oh and I hate it how almost everybody(except the villains) absolutly adores her(which just sickens me how much of a Mary sue she is). For all you people out there who don't know what Mary Sues are, Mary Sue is a literary term for a character which is perfect. Everybody loves her, she's beautiful, and everything works out well for her. Phoebe is a strong case of Mary Sue.


After reading endless chapters of basicly Phoebe complaining about everything(which makes me
actually find her more annoying than the villain, who is supposed to be anoying, but really isn't), we finally get to that one page where we finally learn what the conflict is going to be. Rather than having the conflict being something about the gods fighting another, or something that is ACTUALLY ABOUT GREEK MYTHOLOGY, instead the soul conflict is just Phoebe wanting to win a track meet with the other gods. Are you freaking kidding me. I wasted my time reading a stupid book only to learn that the soul conflict is something soo uninteresting as a stupid track meet! I can already think of a way better conflict than that:
A group of rebel gods find a form of power that is greater than Zeus' and steals all the gods powers. Phoebe is instantly accused of causing the mayhem, and she must prove her innocence and find out who the rebel gods are before it is too late.
See that is a way more interesting plot than a mortal wants to win a race against the descendants of gods(who happen to be mortal too, so that just takes away the soul purpose of gods VS humans). Seriously Tera, out of all the possibilities that Greek Mythology offers, you pick the most boring one out of the batch.


Well the book ends the way everybody expects it. Phoebe finds out *surprise* she actually does have powers, she wins the hot guy(who happens to be one of the dozen guys who adore her), and no surprise she wins the race. Oh and turns out she is in some form of prophecy, which is no surprise.
Overall I hated the book because there was no character development, the heroine came off more as a selfish brat, the story was predictable, and the authors idea of comedy is just adding Greek-themed puns into the book every time it got boring(so there were tons them)